My journey into the world of music began in 1999. I had no previous experience besides volunteer children’s and youth choirs in my church. However, I felt a calling by God to go into Ministry, and it was through my service in a Choir production that I heard His call.
I want to shed some light on how my journey as a vocalist has been shaped. I have had several teachers, all offering their own area of expertise to help mold me into who I am today as a singer. Some as you will read, did little or nothing for me, or even led in a small way to my detriment, while the others helped me to grow and find success. However, life is the same way. We go forward, we go backward…We cant blame this on others…We are ultimately responsible for the path we take…Others may influence us, but we cant blame them or give them credit for our lives.
Upon arriving on campus in 1999, I was assigned to a 50-something year old teacher named Professor Gunter. She did little for me as a singer. My lessons with her weren’t very productive. I feel that she was as nervous about teaching, as I was about singing-being critiqued-and being critiqued by a female! I think in the two semesters I studied with her I learned one thing; I wasn’t a gifted singer. I watched as other students progressed faster than I, and it made me frustrated.
It was in 2000 that I decided to accept a football scholarship to Sterling College in Kansas. I don’t know at this point in my life if I was following the Lord or following my own desires…however, I went. My voice instruction there was perhaps the first positive experience in vocal study I received. After studying with my teacher there, I was nowhere near where I needed to be, however, I was making progress. Most of the work in those days centered on breathing, correct posture…breathing while maintaining correct posture…and the production of sound. I was also introduced at this point to foreign language. I studied Italian and German pieces during this period including Caro mio ben and Du bist wie eine blume.
In 2001, I returned home and worked. I decided to finish my non-music courses at a community college, and put music on hold…at that point in my life; I had almost decided that I would not pursue music anymore. Isn’t it strange how we can run from our calling…and run from His will…but eventually, He catches us…
My initial calling into music seemed real. I truly felt the Lord placing his hand on me and guiding me toward that endeavor. However, when I got to school, I really never put my full effort into it. It isn’t that I was a bad student, or that I was irresponsible…keep in mind… I was already in the Marine Reserves at that point. In 2002, something started to happen. My views, ideas and passions began to change. I started to re-evaluate what I was doing and why. I started to question why I quit on God’s call and ran away–or whatever you want to call it–when I went to Kansas. That wasn’t for me. God had spoke, no doubt.
I will always be grateful to the Gaither Homecoming videos. I had seen them all my life. My parents and grandparents on both sides were fans. I remember I used to hate when they watched them…it just didn’t captivate me…
I remember clearly in 2002, I came across the Gaithers on television. I even remember the song. It was the Gaither Vocal Band…Guy, David, Bill, and Mark…singing “The Old Rugged Cross Made the Difference.” It spoke to me. I saw something that I wanted. I knew I shared the same feeling about God that they did, and I knew I wanted to work towards cultivating their caliber of talent in me.
I enrolled again at the Baptist College of Florida, and began working toward my Music Degree. Things were different now. I had a purpose. I had a goal. I had been out into the world, and tasted and seen what was there. I knew where my heart was, and I knew what I believed. I was assigned a teacher who at first intimidated me. His name was Michael Hix, and he was around 28 years old…and working on his DMA at FSU. Perhaps it was the fact that he was a man, or perhaps it was the fact that it was the first time I had really heard a lyric baritone voice, but I was immediately drawn to him, and motivated to work.
Now you have to understand something. The Baptist College of Florida…Well, it’s a good school. They have a good music program-if your intentions are to graduate and serve God through music ministry. This is a great place for that. However, if your intentions are to break into the Opera world, apply elsewhere. That just isn’t their mission. That being said, Michael taught as if he was at FSU. He pushed his students for excellence and held them at a higher standard. I remember feeling so “behind” the rest of his students. I knew I had so much to work on. They already grasped concepts of breathing, placement, diction, and musicianship. I was sorely behind.
Toward my third semester with Hix, I truly feel some divinely inspired things happened. Instead of taking the preceding summer off, I studied with Dr. Kimberle Moon, and she provided a fresh perspective on things for me. I think that my time with her over the summer helped me to grow a great deal in many areas, specifically in the areas of breathing and onset. When classes resumed in the fall, I remember talking to Michael and telling him that I wanted to improve in one years time at the rate most students improve in two. I took it seriously…and so did he. He raised his standards and expectations and I worked harder than I ever had. I spent hours a day practicing and working on my voice. It wasn’t uncommon for me to practice for multiple hours several times per day. I devoted my life toward learning to sing. I truly believe that God touched my voice and helped it to grow. At the end of my senior year I was so much improved compared to where I was at the start of the year…I cant attribute it to anything else but God.
Michael encouraged me to audition for graduate school. Most students from this institution go to a seminary to study music on the graduate level. I researched and found that for me…to get to where I needed to be, I needed to go to school with peers that would push me, and study with teachers who were in the real world..Performing.
I auditioned at several schools. I eventually chose to attend the University of Florida in Gainesville. It was clear when I arrived in the fall of 2005, that I was out of my league. The other voice students where light years ahead of me. I felt like an adolescent when singing in front of them. I’m not comparing myself only to graduate students…I’m talking about the undergrads. They outclassed me. By far. I knew that I would not be able to succeed here on my own.
I think it’s like that in life for a Christian. He allows us to have some success, and then to keep us grounded, he gives us a dose of reality to show us how weak we are on our own. I was surrounded by students who had sung all their lives, performed in huge productions, been to foreign countries to study, written papers for scholarly journals and publications, and been out there in the world as a professional. I hadn’t done those things.
One set back for me was tuition. Most of the incoming vocal graduate students in 2005 received assistantships. I was not one of them. It was later disclosed to me in simple terms that my undergraduate degree came from an unknown school, and for that, I was not awarded any financial help, even though it was there.
I have always been one that looks for motivation. I had it.
I also set lofty goals for myself. Where one person might say, in 10 years I’m going to teach….I will say in 10 years, I will be the president of the most prestigious university. now this isn’t my goal…just an example. I always shoot for the highest.
Being someone who works toward perfection is a good and bad thing, however.
My study at UF came by way of Dr. Anthony Offerle. He was an amazing teacher who had many credentials. I asked to be in his studio, and was granted to begin studying with him. My time with him had some good and bad moments. However, in retrospect, he was exactly the teacher I needed at that point in my life. He kept me grounded and kept me working…always working for improvement. I never relaxed and never felt as if I accomplished anything. It was always an effort to make progress. This is how I work. My feelings were hurt several times with Offerle, perhaps because he is a lot like I am, and it is hard for 2 like-personalities to co-exist. I can’t lie though…I improved immensely with him.
After my first year with Offerle, I was caught up. I was able to hold my own with the other graduate students there. I wasn’t finished though.
During my second year, I found some success. I made some friends that would change my views on many things. One is Cameo Humes. Cameo is a fascinating vocalist. He is a black tenor who can sing like no one I have ever heard. One thing I learned from Cameo is confidence in self. I have always been bashful when it came to my talents and abilities. Even today I have a hard time taking compliments or praise. Now Cameo is a big guy…If I were Urban Meyer I would have recruited Cameo for the UF Football Team. He has always dealt with this weight issue, and it has been something that has affected his personality to a certain extent. One of the things I admire about Cameo is his confidence in front of others. He is able to put his personal feelings away, and be totally confident in himself at all times. I wasn’t able to do this. I always doubted myself and wondered how good I really was compared to all these “educated” folks. Up to this point in my life, it ALWAYS affected me in everything that I did.
I think meeting Cameo and learning from him helped me to realize that I did belong. My voice proved it. All the doors that had opened for me proved it. God proved it. All I had to do was believe it.
So many times God opens the door for us…we go through it and keep wondering if it was US that made it happen. Until we come to grips with the fact that it’s God who opens doors and not ourselves…. We will worry ourselves to death with this “am I good enough to be here” struggle. God put me there. I belonged there, and I was beginning to believe it.
Let me tell you. When God calls…and you answer…. and follow Him… it’s a great thing….But, when you actually start to BELEIVE in the calling and claim its benefits, it becomes the greatest ride of your life.
While at UF I catapulted toward the top of my class…garnering the respect from my peers. I realized some regional recognition through my efforts at the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions and NATS Regional and Local Competitions. I also participated as a lead or principal in several Operatic productions including the Marriage of Figaro, La Traviata, and the Devil and Daniel Webster.
Upon graduation I have continued to study off and on. I intend at some point to further my education with a DMA, but for now, I am studying on my own. I have taken lessons from both Dr. Patrick Malone and Dr. Leo Day. Both offer a unique perspective and have helped me in many ways. Unfortunately, I live so far away from each that it makes it difficult to study on a regular basis and fulfill my commitment to my job.
I hope that something I have said here will be uplifting to you. We all will be faced with challenges…especially if we are following HIM. It isn’t easy to live for the Lord, and neither is following His calling. However, once we submit and believe that He has lit the pathway before us, we will find living in His will to be rewarding.